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I really don't want to get into it anymore than this. It will spare me the pain.""No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I have an appointment with my Edgware lawyer the day after tomorrow.""Well, all right, I promise. I'll hold off seeing the lawyer until after the Seder. After 6 months of classes, the Rabbi tells Manny, "OK, now you can be a Cohen.""The 2nd envelope contained 10,000 with a note, ‘Please use this for a nice funeral’.

Call your sister in New Jersey and break the news to her. I made Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favourite foods for the shiva, including some fine malt whisky.""Mum, I've decided to go back into the closet.

Because she was worried at how little her class knew about religion, Angela decided she was going to disregard the new regulations and teach some religion. She would give 50 to whoever could tell her who was the greatest man who ever lived.

Immediately Moishe began to wave his hand, but Angela ignored him in favour of those in her Sunday school class.

The Chinese opened a small pearl box and out flew a smaller fly.

Whoosh, whoosh went his sword and the fly dropped dead in four pieces. Then the emperor asked Morris to demonstrate why he should be his chief Samurai.

On the other hand, if he is a Jew, where could he be going? He's probably going to visit one of the Jewish families there, but how many Jewish families are there in Samvet? The Bernsteins are a terrible family, so he must be visiting the Steinbergs.

Others said, "I think the greatest man who ever lived was Alexander the Great because he conquered the whole world." and "I think it was Thomas Edison, because he invented the light bulb.""I think the greatest man who ever lived was Jesus Christ." said Moishe.

Angela was shocked but still gave him the 50 reward.

As she did so, she said, "Well, Moishe, I'm very surprised that you should be the only one with the right answer. "During the flight, the stewardess looks in on the little dog, and Oy Gevult, the dog is dead.

She informs the pilot who notifies Tel Aviv airport who tells the director who decides that they will get an other dog to replace this one. This fellow doesn't look like a peasant, and if he isn't a peasant he probably comes from this area.

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